Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
