You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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