We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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