I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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