we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
