i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
