Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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