She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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