i think i have herpe
just one?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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