you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
