Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
