I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I understand Curling. That high.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
