Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
