Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Screwed.edu
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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