dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i think i have two assholes
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
