you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
