Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
did you just send me my own nude
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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