yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
