I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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