Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
