just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
