Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
