just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
