I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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