you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
