Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
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He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
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Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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