i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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