my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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