$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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