I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
