I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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