I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
