i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Ketchup is God's man juice
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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