at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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