there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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