dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
