Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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