Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
