Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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