how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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