I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It was confusing and full of hummus
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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