Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
