we have officially lost it.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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