What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Acid is not a monday night drug
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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