Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
