I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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