everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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