so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize