I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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