hell yes lets make some ravioli
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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