Can Purell be used as lube?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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