Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
