yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
