What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
