that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I have aggressive nipples.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
