Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
