We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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