Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
