Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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