All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
