I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder