Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?

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  (617): There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man? http://tfl.nu/v739
  Replies (36) Good night (630) Bad night (1564)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.

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  (847): Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk. http://tfl.nu/mos7
  Replies (17) Good night (8145) Bad night (716)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before

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  (605): I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before http://tfl.nu/b07w
  Replies (12) Good night (5088) Bad night (1052)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.

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  (708): Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now. http://tfl.nu/4cfq
  Replies (55) Good night (7323) Bad night (1098)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.

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  (920): Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out. http://tfl.nu/bwpe
  Replies (7) Good night (1503) Bad night (4615)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?

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  (859): how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong? http://tfl.nu/c3b4
  Replies (6) Good night (925) Bad night (2768)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.

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  (717): It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards. http://tfl.nu/wgpg
  Replies (2) Good night (1749) Bad night (603)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.

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  (504): If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life. http://tfl.nu/0spe
  Replies (9) Good night (2179) Bad night (1037)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.

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  (337): Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one. http://tfl.nu/xgt0
  Replies (1) Good night (1075) Bad night (544)
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  (718): View more from New York

  If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go

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  (718): If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go http://tfl.nu/k79y
  Replies (9) Good night (1624) Bad night (613)
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  (760): View more from California

  Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away

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  (760): Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away http://tfl.nu/rpjr
  Replies (1) Good night (978) Bad night (347)
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  (925): View more from California

  I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.

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  (925): I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea. http://tfl.nu/uulw
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (268)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?

  (305): View more from Florida

  It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.

  (954): View more from Florida

  STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn

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  (954): Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich? (305): It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too. (954): STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn http://tfl.nu/d113
  Replies (1) Good night (1092) Bad night (328)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.

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  (907): I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want. http://tfl.nu/b2fd
  Replies (2) Good night (283) Bad night (458)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues

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  (787): come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues http://tfl.nu/x9jo
  Replies (0) Good night (469) Bad night (207)

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